escape
We cannot escape our past.
yet we can master the art of ignoring it.
But it shadows us.
It lurks
and it grieves
in the backdrop of our spirit,
dragging contradictions
and disappointments
from our ankles.
Chained to the web of misconceptions
that we've built
to cover up the moments
we aren't most proud of.
Entangled in fictional stories
to fill the gaps that we've hid away,
just so strangers
can believe we are
human.
The sour taste of disgust
erupts in our throats.
We can't spit it out,
so we're choking
over the phony "hi, how are you's".
We swallow our scorns
and our regrets,
and the acid soaks up in our belly.
That's when we want to
disappear
because we know that we are
garbage.
Humiliation heats our blood
and guilt fuels our bitterness,
and we are still content living
in this lethargic cycle of deceit
because all we crave is
to be loved.
And when we are finally loved
and trusted,
we still never lose the chains
because our demons live within us.
They eat away at our happiness
because we don't believe that we deserve this.
And it's a shame
because
we cannot wrap our head around the fact
that other people
can live with burdens.
